Proverbs 25:21–22
In a piece titled “Forgiveness Is a Condition for Our Own Freedom,” Neil Anderson wrote the following:
Forgiveness is not forgetting. People who try to forget find that they cannot. God says He will “remember no more” our sins (Hebrews 10:17), but God, being omniscient, cannot forget. “Remember no more” means that God will never use the past against us (Psalm 103:12). Forgetting may be a result of forgiveness, but it is never the means of forgiveness. When we bring up the past against others, we haven’t forgiven them.
Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. (He would never require us to do something we cannot do.)
Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. Forgiveness is costly; we pay the price of the evil we forgive. Yet you’re going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness.1
When you have forgiven—when you have sincerely decided to surrender your right to see justice done and resolved never to hold the offense against your enemy—you have opened the way to extend grace toward the person who harmed you. While forgiveness removes the poison of resentment from your body, grace completely neutralizes the toxin so that no one can ever be harmed by it again.
Show Kindness to Your Enemy
Grace is simply kindness extended to another person regardless of merit—or the lack of it. Grace is showing kindness without first considering whether that person deserves it. Solomon and the wise men urge us,
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. (25:21)
In the Ancient Near-East, it was customary to extend hospitality to travelers, to friends and strangers alike. God, however, called His people to extend the same courtesy to enemies, to those who have harmed you without repenting and/or would take every opportunity to harm you again. God is not asking us to be fools; you need to protect yourself from further harm. Still, be kind. Give grace. In the words of Jesus, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27–28).
The following proverb suggests a potential result of extending unmerited kindness to our enemy, which is expressed in a curious figure of speech.
For you will heap burning coals on his head,
And the LORD will reward you. (25:22)
No one knows for certain the origin of this odd and ancient metaphor. Some suggest it points to an ancient Egyptian practice of carrying a pan of coals on one’s head as a sign of contrition. I believe the phrase is merely an idiom describing humility, not unlike our expression “He came to me with his hat in his hand.” In ancient times, allowing one’s household fire to go out was seen as the epitome of irresponsibility. The humiliating experience of walking home from a neighbor’s house with a pan of coals probably gave rise to this word picture for humility.
In my own experience, I have seen grace melt the hardest hearts and turn enemies into friends. It doesn’t always work, but nothing can rival unmerited kindness for its ability to disarm our enemies. Hopefully our good conduct and our humility will bring about humility and repentance in return.
1. Neil T. Anderson, The Bondage Breaker (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 1990), 194-197.
From Living the Proverbs by Charles R. Swindoll, copyright © 2012. Reprinted by permission of Worthy Inspired., an imprint of Hachette Book Group, Inc.
