My Life’s Defining Moments

For 63 years, I have started nearly every day the same way. My wife, Cynthia, and I get up at 5:00 a.m. We have done this for so long that we don’t need an alarm clock, no matter what time we went to bed. First thing, one of us turns on the coffeepot that I prepared the night before. Then we make up our bed together, giving the coffee time to brew. When it’s ready, we pour two large cups and clean the coffeepot. Then we head for our favorite, comfortable chairs in our family room and begin our day.

We spend a good, solid hour plus talking about everything on each of our hearts—our children and grandchildren, our extended families, our agendas for the day, and the challenges and joys of our church ministries and Insight for Living Ministries. That include heartaches that must be addressed, as well as tremendous blessings from both having outstanding staffs. Sometimes we laugh—roaring, spontaneous laughter. Many, many other times, we cry with very broken hearts. Always, we listen. Sometimes, we pray. Each time, we pull from God’s Word thoughts, wisdom, comfort, and challenges for change and direction.

Except when I was serving as a Marine on Okinawa, we’ve made this our habit almost every day—when our four kids were young and now as our home overflows with grandchildren and great grandchildren . . . months when our work calendars haven’t had a blank line to spare . . . exhausting seasons when one of us has had to be in the hospital. Even when our ministry has taken us to the other side of the world, Cynthia has written on our packing list: “insulated coffee cups, instant coffee, cinnamon, sugar, and Coffee-mate®.” She even packs a little appliance for heating up the water, so we never have an excuse not to spend that precious time together!

Our love affair with God’s Word didn’t begin when we got married. The Bible was honored and taught in our childhood homes. The truths of Scripture had already begun drawing us in when we met as teenagers. Cynthia was 16 and I was 19 when we had our first date. A week later we became engaged! Immediately, we started attending two Bible studies a week. The wisdom of the Word captivated us.

But I didn’t have a systematic, trustworthy approach to studying the Scriptures . . . and I wasn’t reaping the benefits of consistency. That began to change in June of 1955 when the girl of my dreams looked me in the eyes and said, “I do.” The two of us knew little about life, much less marriage. We just knew that we loved each other and couldn’t bear the thought of spending the rest of our years with anyone else.

So, we married young. We grew up together. Year by year, we also grew closer to one another and to the Lord.

That didn’t just happen. People don’t marry young and end up more deeply in love 63 years later by accident . . . and people don’t grow close to the Lord simply by becoming Christians. Both happened because we intentionally set aside time to be with each other and with the Lord. We still do to this day.

More than six decades of marriage have taught us that you can’t be lazy about investing in each other. That’s true of any relationship you want to flourish. Opening up and sharing takes time and hard work. Listening, really listening, is even harder. (The Swindolls aren’t known for being quiet!)

But the moments we’ve spent together in our family room have become some of the most defining moments of our lives. We’ve come to see and understand things about each other and ourselves that we never would have otherwise. We’ve wrestled togetherwith challenges that often tear others apart. We’ve received direction from God’s Word for the big decisions and the daily choices that have made up our lives and our ministry. Confusion and uncertainty have turned to clarity and confidence as we’ve shared our fears and talked through our ideas.

The bond we’ve cultivated with each other is deep, meaningful, and unbreakable. The same is true between each of us and the Lord.

That bond is worth every minute of sleep lost to get up before our babies . . . every bit of the heartache that sometimes comes when sharing honestly with another . . . every deadline we’ve ever had to push back. I’m a big believer in putting the urgent on hold to do what’s important. I decided long ago that meeting and talking with my Lord and my wife must take the top spot on my to-do list every day. The older I get, the more I understand the difference that decision has made.

Cynthia’s and my early morning conversations are the heart behind Good Morning, Lord . . . Can We Talk? In this devotional, I’ve included many of the topics Cynthia and I have discussed over the years in the time we’ve set apart each day. My hope is that through this book you, too, will start each day cultivating your relationship with the Lord. You don’t have to do anything special. Just spend time every day with Him. Read His Word. Talk to Him. Laugh when you want to. Cry when you need to. And never underestimate the importance of listening.

I know life is busy. How could you possibly fit in time to sit still every day? Here’s how: Put the urgent on hold. Do what’s important first. The urgent will always be there. You’ll be better equipped to meet it, if you do what’s important first. (You may even find that some urgent matters simply aren’t “urgent” anymore.)

God has given you His Word for the express purpose of connecting with you to change your life. I’m living proof! I don’t have an unbreakable bond with the Lord because He called me to be a pastor. I don’t have a deep, meaningful connection with my wife because I’m a pastor either. I have both because God’s powerful Word changed my life! To this day, it feeds my soul with new insight, wisdom, and joy, flowing from passages I know by heart. Because I’ve daily dedicated time to Scripture, I’ve yet to encounter a heartbreak or challenge that has left me helpless. God’s timeless Word addresses everyissue. Whatever may come, the Scriptures are able to help me through it.

That kind of confidence, that kind of life-changing relationship with the Almighty, isn’t just for pastors or missionaries or a chosen few. God created each one of us to be able to connect with Him through the saving grace of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit and His Word.

So commit today to waking up and saying, “Good morning, Lord . . . Can we talk?” I promise, it will get easier as you practice, and you’ll never regret it. The deep, meaningful bond you’ll cultivate with your Savior by spending time with Him will become unbreakable. It will be the rich, rewarding joy, comfort, and satisfaction that brings you back together every morning.

Originally posted on

Copyright © 2018 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide.

Posted in Bible, Christian Living, Marriage, Pastors.

Accuracy, clarity, and practicality all describe the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. Chuck is the chairman of the board at Insight for Living and the chancellor of Dallas Theological Seminary. Chuck also serves as the senior pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, where he is able to do what he loves most—teach the Bible to willing hearts. His focus on practical Bible application has been heard on the Insight for Living radio broadcast since 1979.