God does not mock us with the things He includes in His Word. He isn’t in the business of making His people squirm under some unrealistic expectation that they can never attain—something that is totally unique to one person but remains for everyone else a frustrating and unreachable challenge. But I must quickly add, you cannot become these things by taking your cues from the world. That only brings defeat and frustration. You, as an individual, have your own pressures, your own difficulties, your own unique circumstances, but God offers ways to handle them and become His special person. The question is how?
First, ask God. Ask Him to cultivate character within you. Ask Him to give you a discontent for the superficial and a deeper desire for the spiritual. Make yourself available to His strength, His reproofs. Seek His counsel for the things you lack. Allow Him to help you set reasonable goals. Record them in your journal so you will have a written account of your prayer to Him.
Ask God to give you that kind of authenticity. To place more emphasis on what’s happening deep within your heart and less emphasis on the externals, the superficial, the temporary.
Second, trust God. Trust Him to control the circumstances around you—those very circumstances that you perhaps are using as an excuse for not being the woman you want to be. Don’t wait for your circumstances to be perfect. Remember Esther. At the height of competition, surrounded by sensual, greedy, superficial women, Esther stood alone. And, amazingly, God gave her favor in others’ eyes!
Ask God. Trust God. We are completely dependent on Him for eternal life, for forgiveness, for character, for security. His light in our lives gives us a growing disgust for things that merely satisfy the flesh. It shows us the importance of character, the incredible change that can come by standing alone on the things of God. He alone can give us grace and winsomeness and keep us from becoming squint-eyed, cranky Christians. It is His working in our lives that uses us even in the harems of life to make a difference and to model a charm and a beauty, a dignity and an elegance that cannot help but cause people’s attention to be drawn to Him and His power. Ask. Trust.