Friendships

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12

The world in which one person lives is too limited and restricted. When rubbing shoulders with another, we gain a panoramic view, which allows us to see the whole picture. “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man” (Prov. 27:19). That’s so picturesque! People provide a clear reflection of what is in the heart. A mirror goes only skin deep. The counsel of a friend reflects what is down inside.

I’m talking about people who love you too much to let you play in dangerous traffic. They also love you too much to let you start believing in your own stuff. When they spot conceit rearing its head, they say so. But they also love you too much to let you be too hard on yourself. Like Jonathan with David, they are messengers of great encouragement.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov. 13:20). That statement is not a verse written to teenagers in high school, though it certainly would apply. I clearly remember my high school years, don’t you? Many of us ran around with others who were tougher than we, so we could cover up our own feelings of inadequacy. My mother kept saying to me, “Charles, every time you run with the wrong crowd, you do wrong. When you are with the right crowd, you do right.” Her counsel is still true. If I were to run with the wrong crowd, I would be tempted to do wrong.

And it doesn’t stop when we turn twenty. It goes on into adult years as well. If you choose a wrong set of co-workers, you’ll practice wrong things in your business. If you choose a wrong set of friends, you’ll practice wrong things in your social life. Run with those who do drugs, and you’ll wind up doing the same.

But—the flip side—those who walk with the wise learn from them. You need someone who will say, “I’m not sure how healthy that is. I’m glad you asked me. Let’s talk about it.” And that person will help point out the traps you could fall into if you keep tracking in that direction.

Other eyes, more perceptive and objective than ours, can see traps that we may fail to detect.

Reprinted by permission. Dear Graduate: Letters of Wisdom from Charles R. Swindoll, Charles R. Swindoll, © 2007, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved. Copying or using this material without written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited and in direct violation of copyright law.

Posted in Friendship and tagged .

Accuracy, clarity, and practicality all describe the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. Chuck is the chairman of the board at Insight for Living and the chancellor of Dallas Theological Seminary. Chuck also serves as the senior pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, where he is able to do what he loves most—teach the Bible to willing hearts. His focus on practical Bible application has been heard on the Insight for Living radio broadcast since 1979.